Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Making space for a little soul.

I've done a lot of work on myself these past few weeks.

House remodel, new job, getting in touch with my spiritual side.

blah blah blah.

And I was reminded the other day that I need to make some space for my daughter, and focus some concerted attention on her and her well being.

She has been experiencing a lot of anxiety these days- and I'm certain it's my fault.

For sure, my responsibility.

You see, I have been so focused on my own stuff that I have not paid attention.

And I'm pretty pissed at myself for that.

But I've learned some important lessons from my counselors/teachers that I think will help.

In fact, they have already:
  • De-clutter and clean- I have purged a lot of my own stuff- but not much of hers. and her room was a mess! I've spit cleaned and purged and organized. 
  • Let her have some creative energy in the house. She had talked about wanting to paint a wall in our house. I compromised and got a huge canvas for her to paint on. 
It now hangs prominently on our living room wall.

I may still let her paint a wall.

I probably will.
  • Create a calming environment that is fresh and ours.  That means finishing up this house remodel which hopefully will be done by the end of the week. 
  • Take time just for her. Being self employed really helps. I get to spend extra time with her doing things she loves- swimming, play dates, painting, watching movies. 
  • Let my primary relationship for now be her. This means not entering into any kind of relationship right now. 
Good advice- for both of us.
  • Love her up. This is the most important thing for the both of us. Sending her love and light. Expressing our feelings. And lots of hugs. 
Things aren't perfect, but they are getting much much better.

She is less anxious already and I can tell she is starting to feel a sense of peace.

And she digs her clean room.

More to do.

But ultimately, its about making space for a little soul.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Soul work.

Any good strategic plan has all of its parts balanced into a cohesive and concise document. One that is a living, breathing guide. One that will guide the institution or organization forward in an intentional and thoughtful way. 

I've been approaching my life in very much this same way these days.  

For me (in both work and life) I tend to examine all of the different moving parts together all at once and then parse out what is useful and discard what is not. 

I have discovered those parts of my personal strategic plan that are important and have been letting go of those parts that have not been working for me.

This hasn't been easy. Change is hard.

But I think I've nailed it- at least for now. 

And for me, it starts with balance.

If you would have asked me a few months ago how I found balance in my life, I would have just looked at you cockeyed and smiled. Balance was something that was a myth- something that you had after you retired. 

There was simply no time- with having a child, and work, and activities, and other responsibilities.

But I was missing it. Big time.

Once I left my full time job, my life opened up in a way that I have not experienced before. 

Suddenly I had time to seek balance. I had time to spend time with my daughter, time to organize my house, and time to really put thought and effort into my work passion.

And I have discovered that in order for me to have balance, I must have these things:
  • Time for my family, specifically my daughter;
  • Time for my friends;
  • Time alone;
  • Time to do those things that bring me joy- writing, reading, playing my guitar, spending time outdoors;
  • Time to take care of my physical self; 
  • Time to be near or at the water; and
  • Time to nurture my spiritual self- through prayer, medidation, reading, and listening to my spiritual counselors/teachers.  
This new chapter in my life has given me space to find the balance I need as I put together my own life's living breathing strategic plan. 

And I think I'm on a good path. My business has some good clients, and several more on the horizon. 

I feel healthy and clear about my current journey and, well, balanced.

But the truth is that this is more than finding balance and developing a good, personal strategic plan.  

Ultimately- this is soul work.