Tramp.

I have just spent two days (so far) trying to put my daughter's trampoline together. The biggest takeaway she got from being on her spectacular Australian vacation was that she wanted a trampoline just like my friend had in her backyard.

Ok, she liked the kangaroos too.

And another friend was kind enough to give one to me. 

Spectacular. 

She did have a few words of advice. "You'll need two people." 

I ignored that. 

Here has been my process so far: 

First I just put all the outer rings together, knowing it was upside down, and that I would have to flip it once finished. 

Easier said than done. 

That thing is huge.

Then I realized that it was not only upside down, but backwards. 

Shit. 

That was day one. 

The next morning, I took it apart and tried it again. 

Somehow, the pieces were not fitting together well, so I took all the supports off to try to puzzle it (i.e.- force it) together. 

Big mistake. 

Hammer, twist, turn, curse, hammer some more, take apart again- and more cursing. 

I finally stepped back and realized that there was a pattern to it. Long piece, connector, short piece, long connector, etc. 

Dumb ass. 

A couple more hours of twisting, hammering, starting over- a spectacular display of cursing. 

Finally, the pattern worked, and I now have a perfect circle. 

Just the springs and the jumpy thing to go.

But I was sweating like a pig- and cranky- and very very smelly. 

I intentionally went and took a shower and put on my pj's. 

The rest will come easy tomorrow. 

Yeah- right. 

Once again, this tramp becomes a metaphor for life and relationships. 

Brilliant. 

In my life, I generally try to do everything at once- and by myself if I can. 

And I have also mostly tended to ignore even the wisest words of advice. 

And I also tend not to read instructions very well. I dive in usually with both feet, and put whatever it is together. If it doesn't fit, i hammer, and twist and curse, and hammer some more. 

And I usually try to finish whatever it is up to its conclusion all at once.  

And it usually takes me a good long while to realize that there is generally a pattern. And that unless you have the right pattern, things won't fit exactly like they should. They may hammer together, but ultimately, they won't make the perfect circle that you are striving for. 

My relationships have been similar- both the long and short ones. 

I dive in with both feet- try to hammer it together- ignore the wise advice of friends and family- and take a while to realize that there is generally a pattern. 

Sometimes the pieces are too long, or too short- or the springs don't fit. And all the hammering, twisting and cursing in the world won't fix it. 

Sometimes the pattern is all mine. 

Sometimes it isn't. 

And sometimes the pattern emerges as the relationship progresses- or doesn't. 

And sometimes the perfect circle you are striving for will never be there. 

And sometimes it's just best to go inside and put on your pj's.